Is different from the world in which I exist. In the world that I exist in there is a maze of compartmentalized reality and an absence of illusion. I deal in musts, in haves and have nots, in facts and in probabilities and the fickleness of memory. Every day however, even in the darkest hardest moments, there's an opportunity to look at someone in the eyes and see a person in all it's complexity, and not to judge.
It is the ability to empathize and to distance oneself all at once, to make a hard moment a little bit easier, which drives me. On hard days you walk away feeling drained from the energy poured out of me, or from the energy expended holding up walls that were necessary at the time.
Still, the work that I exist in comes easy for me. I can move in and out, I can open and close I can let you see and make you believe. I've had practice, years of practice in learning to exist. I can go on my own path and wash away the drainage and tuck away the feelings that I may have experienced.
The lessons, those I like to keep. I can exist without feelings, in that world. I save those; for those who are very dear.
Now, the world I like to live on is a different thing. This world exists under my existence, every day, every moment. In this world the tiniest thing is important, and noticed and acknowledged as a miracle. In this world there's a quiet but perpetual love surrounding me, cushioning my movements. I walk as if I walked on water. I feel embraced by the day. I breathe in and it's not air, it's purpose. I am alone and so happy. I need nothing. I have me. I feel intensely but I have no need to share other than to share kind actions with others and make sure that if I have the chance to brighten the path of someone else, I do, and I thank the universe for the chance to do so, before I move along. I'm like a butterfly...softly landing and taking off.
Now you come into my worlds. But you must pick one, you see. I can't dream of you in my world and love you in the other. For if I dream of you I dream of love that is soft kind and effortless. If I dream of you I dream of certainty, trust and forever. If I dream of you, I fly far away with just a blink of an eye and I soar above in contentment. Oh, and I dream of you.
If you want the dream, it's yours. Know it's grand. Know it's there, but be ready. There's a flood of me that's been stored away, kept away from wasting, waiting for a reason to be released. If you want it, it is yours and I'll be yours and I... I will love you. I will love you like I love the air and the sun and the earth beneath my feet. I will think of you and all that is you as me. I will plunge into the abyss without asking for anything... except for you to know the delicacy of the occasion, and for you to enjoy and dream with me. I will love you with passion, like the passion of the birth of a volcano. I will love you slow, and I will love you deep and I will forget for a while, that we are two.
But you must dream. You must dream, or you won't see that world. If you don't dream, it will happen all around you and you will miss it.
If you don't dream with me I will dream it in my world and let it go, but keep it forever, just so I remember what it felt like. If you don't dream with me the rain will come and wet the flowers as they dance to the mounting breeze. If you don't dream with me the storm of my love will come and pour itself and the lighting will thunder with excitement and like the storm, you'll see it pass and watch it go, as forever leaves you. So dream with me, dance with me, let the rain wash away your worries and your fears, and come away with me. As you stand beneath the willows and feel the air on your skin, know it's my touch. Let me soak you, and take you away from your cold reality, so you can be a part of mine, under my skin.
Originally: from the old blog
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